June 26, 1999: Ljubljana, Slovenia

Lecture by Srila Bhakti Vaibhava Puri Goswami Maharaja

"What shall I do? How can I come out from this sin, so much sin that I have commited? At the time of my death, I have to suffer."

And that suffering now he can neutralize as if......... bring now."

Because Narada's words, it acted like an injection.

Now he says:

"What is the remedy, what shall I do?"

"If you want remedy, you break that bow and throw it."

"If I break that, then who will maintain my family? Daily I do this business and whatever income I maintain my family."

"I will maintain!"

"Then immediately he broke it and threw it."

"Then what shall I do?"

"You sit here and do Hare Krishna, Hare Rama. And daily food I will send to you."

So, in truth, within minute such a cruel animal like he who used to kill too big animals. No heart, such a cruel fellow, hunter, now he became a devotee. Repentance has come to him. Then he followed his guru what he said he'd do it, and said, and began to repeat Hare Krishna, Hare Rama. And it is, sunset time has come. This fellow never returned home. And all of their family members were anxious. The villagers all anxious. They were very surviving on the kill of big animals, when they die.

So, they came to this spot where he came.

He was doing:

"Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare"

They asked: "Why? What is this? What is this?"

"This is the mantra given by my Guru. Now I follow him and do that mantra."

"Have you taken food?"

"No, I don't want food. He said he will send me food."

And what they will do.

"I am not going to do this business again. I will never hunt. I will never kill, and kill animals."

Then they argued him.

"No argument I am going to hear. My guru has said, I have to. Because I want to save myself. By killing animals I protect you. That is a great sin that I commit. Who is responsible to destroy my sin? My guru is responsible. He has told me that you break, break it and throw it and sit here, do namam. So I am doing namam."

Then they sat.

"Oh, he is our villager and let us once in a week, one house should give food to him."

And they have to threw it.............

could get food daily and do his namam.

He said: "Not more. This must be off bring. I don't want any more food. Not the, vegetable food."

So, he was doing namam.

And after one year passed Narada. And with a rishi was coming, rishi. And that rishi, Narada's.

This fellow saw Narada from a long distance. When he saw that my dear Master has come, he ran and threw his upper cloth on the ground and he offered his prostrations to him. Then the Parvata Muni asked Narada:

"What is this? Why should he throw a cloth on the ground and after it sashtang dandavats?"

Narada said that: "Daily he used to kill big animals. Small not. Big animals. Now he is feeling for the destruction of small animals, of small creatures. Even ants or any small creature maybe walking or moving on the ground. So if he's fallen then they will die. He is afraid of their death. Small insects. Now to throw the cloth upon it nobody would die."

So, this is ahimsa.

"Now, he doesn't want to commit anything for harm to even a small insect. This is"

"How could he get this knowledge?"

Then they said: "Nara Krishna has given that knowledge. Who is to kill, kill heartless, kill big animals, now he is afraid of a death of small insect."

So, this is a blessings of Narada.

And he said, Parvata Muni:

"It is a blessings of you. Oh Narada, your blessings. Otherwise how such a ferocious, how such a cruel and who has very cruel heart. He has no sympathy, nothing. But now he could get that sympathy for your grace."

It is only the Namam and Divine Name can change them. If the Divine Name is in the proper process obtained from a realized soul. And if he contemplates and determines: "I am with full vigor, with full faith I will do namam." Then he will do no harm to anybody. So, a devotee means a harmless creature. He will do no harm to human beings, no birds, no beasts, no insects, noneless. He is always following ahimsa paramo dharma. That is ahimsa: one should not harm any animal, any beast, any bird, physically or mentally and quarreling also never harms. Because he follows trinad api sunicena. Because he considers himself that I am the humbler than blade of grass. I must not harm anybody.

Samoham sarva bhutesu.

Now he says:

sukha-dukhe same krtva
labhalabhau jayajayau
He is not happy receiving profit and he is not unhappy when there going any loss. So, he has no profit and no loss. He doesn't create difference between good and bad. The good and bad; they follow him. Whatever we see in this world; the wealth. The wealth will follow him. The knowledge will follow him. The beauty will follow him. Everything should follow. Because a devotee who can able to control the Supreme Lord through his devotion. The whole world is in the Lords belly. So, he is the mother. As the mother carries the child in her womb the Lord Krishna carries the whole world in his body, in his mouth. Yashoda asked Krishna:

"Did you take, ate, eat earth?"

"No, no. Why should I eat earth?"

And all the boys had just speak alike, even Balaram. They also, everybody.

"If I have taken see my mouth."

What did she see? That whole universe in a globe in his mouth. That is:

tam eva mata stapitatman eva

For my mother means, what is that mother? Mother who carries the child in her womb is called mother. And the Lord carries the whole world in his womb. So he is the mother, and the father and all protection, is the father. So like that, a devotee who has submitted to the Lord:

sarva dharman parityajya
mam ekam saranam vraja
Gita says, give up all you religions and dharmas and surrender to me. Surrender means:

"Oh Lord, I am yours. I have surrendered to you my body, my mind, my friends, my relations, my kitten, kids, my wealth. Whatever is mine is yours. I have nothing mine. This body also yours, my cloth also yours, the flower garland is yours, chair is yours, everything is yours. I know you, nothing else."

The devotee when completely surrenders and says:

Amita tomar sunita amar...aparadha dhane (11:22 verse?)
"I am yours and you are mine. What? Nothing else I want in this world. I have no concern with anything except you. I know you. You are my father, you are my wealth, you are my brother, you are my knowledge, you are my body. Everything you are. I belong to you, and you belong to me. I am yours and you are mine."

sadhavo hrdayam mahyam
sadhunam hrdayam tv aham
mad-anyat te na jananti
naham tebhyo manag api
When Durvasa could not get any shelter throughout fourteen worlds he went to Vishnu and requested the Lord, falled flattened.

"Oh Lord, your Sudarsan Chakra. That Sudarsan Chakra is coming after me, wants to kill me. You please save. I am traveling for one year. Take shelter. Nobody is accepting me. And nobody is, nobody is helping me. Everybody says: "We cannot help, you go to Vishnu." I have come to you. It is your district. And now you can help me , you can save me." Then Vishnu said:

"I cannot save you."

"What is this, sir? If you do this, if you say this, to whom I can go and appeal? You are the supreme authority and the weapon belongs to you. If you don't help then who will help me? You must help. So please help me."

"No, I cannot help you but I will advise you. I advise you; where you have committed offense you please go there and offer your prayers to him. Then you will be saved."

So, now he went to Ambarisha. Ambarisha Maharaja who was performing ekadasi vrata for one year. Ekadasi without taking the water. Even one drop of water. And dasami once in a day, and dvadasi once in a day. And he spends his whole time, daily also, though he was the emperor. Emperor to see the empire he has established a congress committee who will look after the administration. And he was performing yagya on the border of Yamuna river. All these risis, sages; they perform yagna. Now his duty is from morning till night always serving the Lord Krishna. Feeding, washing and garland preparing or doing pujas. He is engaged in three times. All his, all his senses. He was looking the Lord with his eyes, hearing the glories of the Lord through ears, and smelling the flowers and tulasi offered at the feet of the Lord. Smelling. And taking prasad, vegetable prasad offered to Him. Those prasad he prepares. Though he was an emperor he is the servant to the Lord. "I will now." So, he, and he walks straight to the Lord an no chapals, no sandals. And held that namaskar. Everything. All his organs are engaged in the service of the Lord. Nine types of sravana, kirtana, smarana, arcana, vandana, padasevana and dasya, sakhya, atma nivedana. These nine types of devotion he only performs. One devotee performs nine types of devotion. He is called Ambarisa. Now Ambarisha was performing ekadasi vrata for one year. He completed that one year vrata in Mathura. Now you go to Mathura, on the banks of the river Yamuna. And on dvadasi day, before that dvadasi, he distributed all food and cloth and cows, everything he distributed. Now at last only five minutes more. That dvadasi tithi should not, you should not go beyond the limit of dvadasi. When dvadasi goes trayodasi comes. If he takes anything that will be an offense at the feet of the Lord Vishnu. Now, within this five minutes the Durvasa came. And he said:

"Sir, you have come. I am fortunate. You please take bath and take prasad. I'm waiting for the time. Only five minutes".

But he went to take bath, never returned timely.

Then he thought: "What shall I do now. If five minutes passes I have to commit offense at the feet of Lord Vishnu. And now if I take something without offering the guest to whom I have invited he will say that: "You have committed offense. I will curse you." Now what shall I do?"

Now he is in danger. Nobody, the counsel, so many great scholars, to tell what you can do. Then nobody could give any suggestion.

"By talking to you five minutes will be passed."

Now he says:

"I will take one drop of water and just put it on my tongue. That is paranai. That drop of water will never destroy my hunger. And it is not the food. And my thirst can not be destroyed by, just by the water. Now niyamaraksa, that is I have kept the timely some paranai. If he is late half an hour, no matter."

Now immediately Durvasa came and Durvasa said:

"Maharaja! You are a ksatriya, you are a grihasta, whereas I am a yogi, I am a jnani and I am a great scholar. I had been to Brahma in this body. You could not recognize me. You have committed offense. You promised to me food. You did not give me food and you took."

He said: "Sir, I have not taken any food. Because you are coming late, now I should not commit offense at the feet of this vrata, Vishnu vrata. So I have taken one drop of water and just I put it on my tongue. It is absorbed on the tongue only. It never entered inside the throat. Now you could excuse me."

"No excuse. I will punish you."

So saying he removed one yanyapi jata(? 20:09) and threw it on the ground. There came a burning devil with a sword in hand. He wanted to kill Ambarisa. Going towards Ambarisa. Ambarisa with folded hands. So he is the emperor. He has got military force. Everything he has got. He can do anything. But as if he has done a great offense he was with folded hands. He was waiting there. And that devil when he came nearer, immediately Sudarsana also came down. Sudarsana the disk. Shanka, chakra, gada, padma. Four arms. One is chakra. It is like a wheel. And that the powerful chakra, it can destroy the whole world. Now, because Lord Vishnu has asked that chakra:

"You must save Ambarisa. So that none can able to do any harm to him. Not only to him. You must look after his empire. You must go round his empire. If anybody attacks his empire you should save them."

Now this Sudarsana has come and when Sudarsana came it destroyed this devil. And when the devil was destroyed then it came towards this fellow who has created this devil. And now he is running afraid of death, he is running. Durvasa was running, running after Bhurloka, Bhuvarloka, Svarloka, Maharloka, Janaloka, Tapaloka, Satyaloka, then came to Brahma. Nobody could give him shelter. He came to Brahma:

"You save me sir."

Brahma said:

"I cannot save you. This weapon belongs to Vishnu. We are to carry the orders of Vishnu. Through the orders of Vishnu I create the world."

And when he rejected, he went to Mahadeva and requested him to save him. Mahadeva:

"Sir, I cannot help. I am only his servant. I follow him, his advice and destroy the world whenever he wants."

And so when they were rejected, when he was rejected by them he went to Vishnu. Now Vishnu said:

"You go to Ambarisha. You have committed offense. He was a king. He was an emperor. He can kill you. He would have kill you. But he never did it. Because he is a devotee. He is a devotee. He always wants to respect all. He never harms to anyone. So he did not harm you. So emperor, he has got his ammunitions, he has got his military force. They can do any harm to you, but he never likes it. Now, he himself to suffer, but he never allows other to suffer. Never wants to take revenge."

If anything, one will commit wrong: "I want to take revenge. Oh, you have done this, I will do this. You have done this harm to me, I will do this harm to you." This is revenging attitude. The devotee has no revenging attitude. He always forgets, forgives. He forgets that. And Ambarish Maharaja forgave, forgave this yogi.

Now he said: "You have committed offense. He has done no harm to you. You came late. And that also he preserved his promise. Without giving you food he never took. Now, he is waiting. Already one year he is waiting for food. Without giving you food he cannot take food. He wants to keep that promise. Now it is already one year you are traveling. Now, you go there and offer your prostrations to him. And beg him to excuse you. Then he will excuse. Then Sudarsan chakra will go. Till then sudarsan chakra will never go. I cannot alter sudarsan chakra. Because in my heart Ambarisa is there."

sadhavo hrdayam mahyam
sadhunam hrdayam tv aham

"My heart is Ambarisha. I am the heart of Ambarisa. Ambarisha is my heart."

"So, what I have to do?"

"Ambarisha must give the key. He has got the key to open the door. The heart will be open to you if he gives the key. So, he is my heart, I am his heart. Now you go there."


Then he went and saw Ambarisha waiting with folded hands.

"Sir, I am waiting for you. You have come. You take my food."

So, food was prepared and he took food. And then he said:

"Yes, now I could recognize, I could realize the extent of a vaisnava, a sadhu, a saint, what the power you posses. I thought I am more powerful that you. You are a ksatriya and a grihasta. But I am not a grihasta, I am a brahman, I am a brahmacari. My power, now, completely my power was defeated before yours, before devotion. So, I could now understand devotion of the Lord. And devotees posses such capacity. I could now understand. So I offer my prostrations to you."

"No!", he says, "Don't offer your prostrations. I am a grihasta, I must prostrate to you."

So saying he prostrated. So, such is the character of a sadhu. One must be a sadhu. Sadhu means who finds no fault with anybody. No fault. He says:

"I am the person who commit faults, but the sadhus will never commit faults. They are not, they never commit wrong. I am the person, I will commit wrong, I will commit fault, I am the sinner, but the sadhus are all pure."

So, this is the correct conception. Correct conception. Perfect conception. That the Lord, he is isvara sarva bhutanam. He is dwelling in each and every object. He is this movement. He drives the whole universe. All are being moved by him. Because he is there. He is there. The Lord is there. Such atma is there. Without that atma. Sat. He is sat, cit and ananda. That ananda, that happiness you realize, it is due to his existence here. Because he is in this body you can have that knowledge and you can attain that bliss, happiness. Who is that happiness giving you? That Lord, who is dwelling in you. When he leaves you, this will be a corpse taken to the ground and buried or fired. It is finished. This body has no value. I am without thought, I am that body. Now, I am a body. This life. What is that life? The Lord is life. And the Lord has vacated this body then I am, I am a corpse. This corpse if they touch it they must take bath. Now this body, if anybody touches, then he must go and take bath. And if it is kept for one day, then all germs will come out from that body. It must be buried immediately. And it must be burned to ashes. If you keep this body, how long will you keep. In the ice like (?), it cannot be kept for a long time. It will be destroyed. Because the life has gone. Life, what is that life? Nobody can perceive, nobody can understand, nobody can say anything. Even the greatest scientist cannot say. Only a transcendental scientist can say this is atma. That atma is invincible. And more powerful, and he is not visible. You cannot see with your eyes and hear about, and take everything. You lose. When he blesses you. Now, he is everywhere. If he blesses you then you can know everything. You can taste everything. And without his blessing nothing can be done.

Now, our great effort, our going, passing, or distributing prasadam or accepting vegetable food and offering to the Lord. All these difficulties, all this penance we perform only for the mercy of the Lord. If the aim is not there, mercy of the Lord, we can do anything we will take birth again. Again and again we take birth, again and again we die and

(31:15 verse ?)
punar api janmam
punar api maranam
punar api janani
jadane sayanam
samsare putra para dosa
tathami amanava (?)santosa
Where is? Where is? Where do you think that you have got happiness? How can you be happy? You are in this circular birth and death. And always. How can you be happy? It is happiness like very, the big wheel, big wheel. Like this: it has four seats down, four seats on other side. Diameter, this diameter 1, 2, 3, 4. Four diameters, four passengers are there, four boys can sit. And now the wheel turns, wheel turns. When these 4 boys, ghosa, adeha. Where are you going? Welcome. And, they cannot laugh for a long time, again they die. It will move. They will come down. And when they come down they are not happy. And they are anxious again to go up. So the wheel will give you one turn, two turns, three turns, four turns and five turns and ten turns and stops. And they have to get down and go. Whatever they have paid it is back. Now, like that. Sukha, dukha. What is happiness, unhappiness? They are like, in this, in the wheel. Timewheel. We only feel happy, we only feel unhappy, the moment what we want can be achieved, then if they say that such comes up: "Oh, you have come up. Oh, it's everything." But when they come down. "Oh, I have come down again." Again you go. Day and night. Daytime, some animals, some creatures will be happy. And night some other creatures will be happy. So, day and night. They are side by side. And profit and loss, side by side. And happiness and unhappiness, side by side. And praising and abusing, side by side. One may praise you, you will be happy. One may ridicule you, you will be unhappy. One will do help to you, you will be accepting. One who wants to take help from you, he is now, he is not feeling well. Like this. Happy, healthy, unhealthy. Day and night. And punya loka and papa loka. Punya loka is svarga and papa loka is naraka. So, hell and heaven, side by side. If you go to heaven you enjoy. If you come to hell you suffer. They are side by side. You cannot stay in this world in one position. Now, both you have to. Now if you want to come, dvandva. Dvandvatito vimatsarah. If you want to cross this dvandva then you will never suffer, you will never be unhappy. You always accept your service to the Supreme Truth, Supreme Lord, the Absolute Truth. Lord Krishna's abode where there is no darkness, always light. But here, day and night. In the day we see, in the night, in the dark we cannot. But there, all, every moment, every second is with the light, with knowledge, with light. They serve the Lord. It is the Lord.

na tad bhasayate suryo
na sasanko na pavakah
The sun gives light in the daytime. The moon gives light in the nighttime. But that light is a more superior than this sunlight and moonlight and firelight. These lights are inferior. The light, the light, divine light which helps the sun, moon, source, and the fire god. It is through the help only they give light to you. But it is more light. That light we can have through his mercy. So let us try for that light. He is that Lord Krishna who is blowing the flute. Let us hear that flute. If we concentrate our mind on the flute we cannot move. We will stick up. Our body will become movementless. Because if that delight we have, stambha sarira api, sometimes my body become still, doesn't move. Mahaprabhu, when he sees Jagannatha he cannot utter Jagannatha out of ecstasy. He says:

"Jaga, Jaga! Jaga, Jaga!"

That is the superstage of rejoice. That ananda. We enjoy that ananda. And that ananda, due to ecstasy, he cannot take bath, body was trembling. It falled down on the ground senseless. His eyes become very, very big. And his hand hundred people cannot bend it. And the color changes. And the water coming down from his eyes. He was exhibiting this scenery for 18 years in that room, small room in Gambhira at Puri. Mahaprabhu. No food. Little food when away. Whole body is delicate and he is always weeping, weeping for the separation. And Radha. Radha was separated from Krishna. Krishna went to Mathura and Dvaraka. Radha must not move from Vrindavan. But when she realizes that Krishna isn't in Vrindavan. But actually she is feeling unhappy and feeling sorry and for the separation she is weeping. Always. She remembers Krishna always. And all the pastimes were done when Krishna was in Vrindavan for twelve years. Now, after twelve years Krishna went away. From Mathura he went, said he will come, he never came. He said:

"I will come on the 4th day."

Every morning they get up and count:

"4th day he said he will be, promised to us to come on the 4th day."

So, from that day they left, they count 4th day. If today, today is Sunday, Saturday. From Saturday four days: Sunday, Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday.

"Wednesday he will come."

He did not come. Saturday passed. Then we enter to Sunday. From Sunday he counts, Sunday, four days, and Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

"At Thursday he will come."

Then he did not come. Again this Sunday has gone to Monday and from Monday four days. And again he did not keep his promise. So from Tuesday till 4th day. Always, the four days. They remember only his words, "Four days". Every day counting four days.

"After 4 days he will come."

But he never comes. Never comes. So, they are weeping, day and night, weeping, weeping.

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